(The following is the
speech delivered by Ms Cynthia Ho, the daughter of the employer of Alona
Famatiga, domestic helper in Hong Kong during the graduation ceremony of Ateneo
LSE53 held at The Chinese University of Hong Kong last October 22.
The Ateneo
Leadership and Social Entrepreneurship Training Program for Overseas Filipinos
and their Families (Ateneo LSE) is a flagship Executive Education program of
the Ateneo School of Government (ASoG). Ateneo-LSE is organized by WIMLER
Foundation in Hong Kong.)
Years
ago, I was 11 then, when I suddenly learned that we have one new family member at home, one
that is not blood related, not even sharing the same ethnicity, but our bond is
much stronger than many of my blood related ones.
I
left Hong Kong for the USA when I was 16 to pursue my study. I came back again when I was 23. I left our
home when I was 30 and started living on my own until now. I am now 41 years
old. Alona has been staying with my parents for 30 years, while I lived with my parents for 22 years only. Trust me, staying with my parents is
not one of the easiest thing to do, especially because my mom is not an easy person to live with. I would
like to call that a generation gap.
So,
seven years after I graduated, I finally moved out. All these years I keep
wondering what an amazing woman Alona is being able to stay in this family for
30 years! As I grew up, I finally understand it. It is because she does not
only TREAT us as family, we ARE her family.
Let
us do a little bit more mathematics here.
I was 11 when Alona came. I spent
5 years with her and I left for the USA.
I spent another seven years living with my family before I moved
out. That means I have only spent 12
years living with Alona! But what makes us so close? I would say, destiny
indeed!
Alona
is like an angel sent to me from God. She took good care of me when I was
young, from as simple as cooking and taking care of all housework to bringing
me lunch every single day when I was in early secondary school. She protected me
when my mom punished me at home (trust me those were not simple punishments),
to standing up for me when I was being mistreated. Nowadays she still takes
care of my parents so that I could literally be carefree, knowing that no
matter what happens, my parents would always be well taken care of.
Even
though it was just 12 years that we lived under the same roof, she has shared
my laughter and tears. And I am glad
that this sharing is mutual since Alona also has her tough time. As Alona said: "We have been
through ups and downs together". She sees everything that happened
to me, my changes, my metamorphosis. She sees all the struggles and successes I
have had. There is not a minute that she
doubts on me, and she has always been very supportive to me, sometimes even more
than my own mother.
I
am a grown-up person now. I wish I could
do more for her, for she is not just a helper, but a close family member. I
wish she could stay here forever and I could take care of her just like what
she did for me, but that would be just too selfish of me, for she has her own
family too in the Philippines. She has sacrificed her most beautiful years with
us, and as she is gradually getting older, she should have the opportunity to
retire and spend the rest of her time with her own family too and do the things
she wants to do, for herself and herself alone.
When
that day comes, I know I gonna miss her.
However, being able to graduate from
this Leadership and Social Entrepreneurship training program, I believe she
will make the best choice for herself and continue to be the leader of her
life, and seek the type of happiness she truly deserves.
I love you, Alona!
CYNTHIA
HO, is Sex Therapist and Relationship Counselor in Hong Kong. She studied
Sexual Health at University of Sydney and Film at Boston University. Ms Ho was
11 years old when her parents hired Alona Famatiga as household helper.